hail to the king of pop

I am not into idolizing artists and celebrities but Michael Jackson is an exception. Last night, I was literally moved to tears (and I think the world did as well) while watching his public memorial. A lot of good and kind words were spoken by his family and friends. A lot of singing was heard. It was a show celebrating the life and work of MJ.

I just realized that MJ's songs contain deep messages that we need to ponder upon. Yes, one can easily be entranced by his angelic voice or by his graceful moves that the song's message is completely abandoned. The lyrics of Man in the Mirror opened my eyes to a new level of self realization. The song talks about change. CHANGE that should start in us and within us. This is a tall order for a lot of us but then we need to try and start in small and baby-step ways, then probably, the man on the street will take notice and heed MJ's call.

I wish and pray that this emotion felt by the world is not fleeting and that it will carry on even when MJ has long been put to rest. I hope the messages of his songs will continually give inspiration that will cause us to effect the change we crave for.

I like what the Pastor said on his closing prayers: "Let us celebrate our uniqueness and respect our differences.." We are people who constantly seek for happiness, for change, for peace.. What should we do about it?

The time has come for MJ to exit this imperfect world and enter the perfect world of God. He can sing and dance with all his might and nobody will disturb him, probably, only the angels, who will sing with him in the chorus of his new and perfect life.

The King of Pop has bowed down on his knees to the King of all Kings... ;) peace!

i think i'm fine now

I have written about D moving out of our room to the comforts of his own room. Exactly six days after my post, he told me that he's ready to sleep in his "own bedroom." What can a mother do but give in, right? The newly furnished bedroom needs to serve its purpose.

Last night before i went to sleep, I checked on him as I always do everynight. I don't know what's got into to me again that I wanted him to sleep on our room again. I think I miss him. I think I miss his snoring. I think I miss our "kulitan" before lights are off. Weird isn't it? So, last night, I spent a little time with him in his bedroom... probing and confirming his activities in the recent days. D is a patient young man. He bears with my questioning. He doesn't complain at all. He is not irritated by my comments.

Seeing him comfortable in the four corners of his room makes my heart glad. it was really time for me to respect his privacy eventhough the idea leaves slivers of pain in my being.

I think I'm fine now. And I thank God for it. ;)

ready or not?

Finally today is THE day when D is moving out from our bedroom to his own sanctuary after 13 years and 11 days of sleeping with us. Several times have I asked him if his ready to move out or not but his constant answer is a plain and simple, "Yes, Mama, I'm ready!" Ouch!

You see, D is an only child, thus consequently, I cannot bear to have him sleep in another room. I don't know but I just feel safe and peaceful if I see him sleeping in our bedroom.

The furniture-maker just delivered a nice custom-made bedframe; the bed foam is thick and comfy and the beddings all starched and scented; the black out curtain is hung; the faint smell of paint still lingers inside the bedroom; i guess, it's time...

"I'll get used to the idea, eventually," is all I can say to myself. Hahaha! I am having some dramatic moments again. I could feel the lump in my throat and my eyes are heavy with tears... If only hubby can see me now...hahaha! But honestly, Im sad. My baby is all grown-up. No matter how I try to freeze time, it ain't gonna happen. Reality hurts.

So, i guess, the question of being ready or not is truly for me and I should answer it with enough courage and confidence...

Hard as it is, my reply will always be, "No, I'm not yet ready."

L-♥-V-E

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

No one falls in love by choice,

it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance,

it is by WORK.

and,

No one falls out of love by chance,

it is by CHOICE.

♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥

--anonymous--

drama queen

It was a rollercoaster of emotions for the month of March. I was in a retrospection mode awhile ago and it hit me. I was truly, deeply, madly emotional last month.. Hahaha... I didn't know that I was capable of becoming a drama queen... and i think, i have a future in the tears production department. But on second thoughts, I'd rather be assigned to the make-me-laugh department because I find it easy to laugh than to cry.

Maybe you are wondering why i was in a drama. Sorry, I am not telling. Only two people were fortunate enough to know the real score. I literally shed buckets of tears and I spent four crazy nights forcing the blackout curtains to let the outside light pass through them. Crazy, ludicrous, absurd, whatever you wish to call it, but hey, I was feeling the feelings that time so I allowed myself to wallow in hopelessness.

Looking back now, I say... yes, it was a rare episode of complete and utter foolishness. But, why do we subject ourselves to such silliness? Why do we adversely react to a situation when we don't know the whole story? Well, in my recent experience, I didn't have the time to process events, people, and things. I was so engrossed with things that I forgot to become rational. Unfounded worries got the best of me. So, there, I succumb to the pressure of the situation. I cried day and night...

I later learned that my hypotheses were all without basis. I was so blinded to believe that the fate of one is basically the same as the next person beside him. I did not trust completely. I was consumed with all the negative things hanging inside my head. All the what ifs and buts filled my body and soul. I did not put my trust on The One who is in control of everything. Wrong perspective, I belatedly admitted.

I do not wish this to happen to anyone... but then again, I may wish to go through the same experience, if only to gain a heart of wisdom...

Cry your heart out if the moment calls for it, and laugh out loud while you still can. Life is short, enjoy it. ;)